I have a TWO YEAR OLD!

Hi ladies!
So, last week, November 19th, my amazing little Rainbow baby turned TWO!

Seriously, where is time going? We had a small party at my in-laws house with some family and a few close friends. More importantly, we got food from our favorite local Italian place and she got to eat her favorite dessert, carrot cake and vanilla ice cream!

Man, she has hit the “Terrible Twos”. Hard. It was starting a bit at 18 months, but it seems like the day before her birthday, a switch got flipped. She’s still mostly pleasant, but when the mood strikes, she devolves into a hot, rage-filled toddler tornado. I know it could be a whole lot worse, so I’m just trying to wait it out, parent her the best I can and hope that she snaps out of it sooner rather than later. But like I said, she’s still mostly sweet, mostly pleasant, so I do count my blessings.

I’m glad at least that she hasn’t started lashing out at her classmates at preschool, despite the fact that she got bit and hit a few times during her time in her last classroom. She hasn’t transitioned all that well from her last class into the 2 year old room, but I think she’ll be okay. Drop-offs in the morning, according to the Husband, have been kind of tough, but once she gets distracted by books, food or other playmates, it’s been okay. And she’s really trying to make a go (ha!) of potty training while she’s at school and at home, so that’s pretty great. She loves being diaper-free and it’s pretty adorable how much she loves to wear her “big kid underwear”. I hope she’ll be mostly diaper free by the time her little sister comes along, at least pee-trained, but I also know that she has some potential for regression.

She is incredibly sweet when she is around my growing belly. I’ve hit the 26 week mark, and I definitely look pregnant. Since this one seems to be transverse and riding higher up on my ribcage than Big Sister did, I totally look more pregnant this time around. It’s already getting a bit more difficult to breathe, though I did manage to run a 10k on Thanksgiving without dying, so there’s that, ha! We told her what her sister’s name is going to be, and she now runs up to my stomach, smooches it and says hi to her baby sister. It’s really cute.


Baby Number 2…all natural!

Hi ladies!
Well, I am now almost 21 weeks pregnant! More than halfway to the goal!

WHAT?! How did that happen? And without any medical intervention of any sort?! No IUIs, no invasive, costly procedures, none of the Husband having to do anything personal with cups, just good ol’fashioned sex. The human body is crazy, I suppose. When M was 18 months, the Husband and I decided to go the “not not” trying route and BLAM! it happened. I guessed that I was pregnant back in July because I felt like complete garbage while we were on our family trip to Disneyland, but was still super surprised when I took the test once we got home. I admit, I didn’t believe it at first, mostly because of all the problems we had conceiving and keeping M, but as of this typing, everything seems to be going extremely well.

I had a scare back in August when I had to go to the hospital with really bad cramps, vomiting, fever and diarrhea. I knew nothing was wrong with the baby, but I was still fearful since I was still in the first trimester and that’s typically when I would experience my other losses. After nearly a week in the hospital, it turns out I had gastroenteritis with sepsis. Sepsis! They monitored me and the baby really well and we made it through the horrible, disgusting storm.

So far, I’ve had aversions to chicken (even the smell of chicken broth makes me gag), and have craved sauerkraut, pickles and bacon. I found out on Thursday that despite all the old wives tales, we are having another girl. I’m so excited, and so happy that we didn’t have to go through the whole crazy, frustrating process to get her.

We have a name picked out already, and she’ll most likely have the second half of my late sister’s middle name, so it’s pretty nice to know that we have that figured out. Now we just have to clear out the third bedroom, it’s currently the Husband’s man cave/junk room, so that M will have her big sister room once her little sister arrives in late February, early March.

Big Kid Bed and other Happenings

I can’t believe M is 21 months old.


So we changed M’s crib into a toddler bed a few weeks ago and so far so good. It was really frustrating trying to change it with a toddler who was trying to “help” clinging on to everything, but I got it done without too many tears, ha!
I’ll eventually change the toddler bed into just a regular bed without the bar, but for now it’s good because she seems to fall out of bed on a semi-regular basis. Yeah, I admit it, she thrashes around like I do, which is why co-sleeping didn’t last more than a few months. I put my old pregnancy pillow on the floor next to her bed so she’ll have something soft to land on. At this point, she’s a fantastic sleeper, usually anywhere from 8 to 12 hours a night depending on how much activity and craziness she got into during the day.

In other news…

She’s finally starting a regular, twice a week day program at daycare/preschool after being on a waitlist for freaking ever. It’s at the same tech giant daycare center where the Husband works, so she knows everyone already and they all adore her. I’m really excited because it’ll finally let me work more during the week so I don’t have to work quite so many weekend shifts. I do kind of feel like I’m going to be working just to pay for daycare, despite the massive discount the Husband gets through his company, but still, I think it will be worth it.

Still Breathing!

M is now 18 months old, isn’t that crazy?

We are still without any set daycare during the week, which totally sucks, but in an effort to at least give her some sense of routine I enrolled her in a toddler movement class once a week. It’s pretty adorable and it’s been a lot of fun to watch her grow into quite the little daredevil.

To be completely honest, I don’t know how people even have time to have a second child. Huge kudos to the moms and dads with multiples right out of the gate and the ones who seem to have kids one right after another while holding down careers and relationships. Man, I salute you. I think M is going to have to wait a little bit longer to be a big sister mostly because I feel like I have just started to find myself again as a person.

And where did my sex drive even go? Is it going to return? Like, ever?

WHO HAS TIME for any of that when a toddler is around?

No seriously, asking for a friend.

The Husband and I were able to go to Portland to go visit his brother and SIL over the weekend before Memorial Day, without M! She stayed with the in-laws Friday night to Monday morning, and by all accounts had a total blast. My folks went over for dinner on Saturday night and so she was super spoiled by having all four grandparents doting on her. That was definitely the longest I’ve gone without her, and I hate to admit it, but it was pretty great knowing that I really didn’t have to worry if she was ok.

One final note…

It is insane to me that today, June 2nd, marks 4 years since I had a “missed miscarriage” and the ultrasound in urgent care revealed no heartbeat. I do wonder pretty often what M’s big brother or sister would have been like, but I also know that M is the amazing Rainbow that I was meant to have. I really do look forward to giving her the chance to be a big sister because I can already tell she’s going to like the role.

Hello Strangers!

Oh good lord, I just fell off the face of the blogosphere, didn’t I?

I can assure you that nothing of real interest has happened so far in 2017. M is changing every second of every day, it’s kind of crazy to look at pictures from just a month or so before and notice how much she’s changed. Yep, my little Rainbow child is a whopping 16 months old. Time has sure flown, hasn’t it?

My birthday was in March. The husband and I were fortunate enough to be able to get away for a long weekend without M to a beautiful place on the coast just an hour away. We both love doing touristy stuff locally, and that part of the state really is a lot different than the suburban be-tech-or-perish town we live in. There was no cell or wifi connection in a lot of the areas! *gasp* It was nice to get to reconnect, though we kept going,”M would totally love this” during several parts of the trip, particularly when we stopped to visit a local goat farm to see the baby goats and buy fresh goat cheese. Yeah, she would have loved dem baby goats.

I turned 35, bringing my already reluctant-to-bring-a-child-to-term uterus into the dreaded “geriatric” realm. Ugh. Isn’t that just super insulting terminology? I did my one and only round of the Depo shot last year and opted not to go in for my next one in December. We are currently in the “not not” trying to conceive stage. There are three very fun family and friend weddings happening this summer, one a month starting in June, with the last one in mid-August, so I told the husband half-jokingly that we can start trying in earnest after that, ha!

There are a few things that I feel need to be almost in place before this “geriatric” uterus can bring another life into the world (in no particular order):

1. M needs to be potty-trained, or getting really close to it. I don’t know if I can deal with two littles in diapers. I know people deal with it all the time, but I just don’t see myself as one of those people.

2. M needs to be in a forward-facing carseat when her sibling is born. Again, I know the absolute minimum is that she needs to be two years old, and I’d like to keep her rear-facing until she’s 2.5. But I’d like her to be forward-facing so that when she’s in the back with her little sibling, she can tell us what’s going on with baby. Plus I like the idea of her just watching out for him or her.

3. M needs to be in at least a half-day, minimum two-day or three-day a week daycare or preschool situation. Ugh. This piece has been the most frustrating. She’s on a few waitlists right now and luckily the Husband’s work has been gracious with the amount of backup care days we’ve gotten, but nothing is becoming permanent yet. I seriously need her to be at some form of “school” part of the day so that I’d actually have time for all the doctor’s appointments that I’m sure I’ll need to go through again.

To be completely honest, I don’t know how realistic any of that, especially #1 (ha) actually is, but I think it’s doable. There I go, making vague plans again, hopefully this doesn’t all just blow up in my face.

My Rainbow Baby Is One!

Hi Ladies!
Quick update while the kiddo and husband are asleep…

Whoa, so November 19th, M turned one!

What? I know! It’s so crazy!

She’s a beautiful, adorable kid, and seems to be whip smart, with a fun sense of humor. Just a walking, super social,signing bit of adorable craziness.

We had a small party for her, just her grandparents, the husband’s aunt, uncle and cousin (who just happened to be in town), and we had Italian food. We had her try cream cheese frosting and carrot cake for the first time, which went over pretty well after some initial hesitation. Since she seems to love purple and owls, I found some cool decorations and balloons at our local party store, and she seemed delighted to see them hanging from the ceiling of my mother-in-law’s house.

I made up the excuse that I didn’t want a huge party for her first birthday, or even for her second or third, because she wouldn’t remember it, but in reality I didn’t want one because part of me was still worried that she wouldn’t celebrate her first birthday.

What? Come again?

Yeah, my child is now 13 months old as of a few days ago, perfectly healthy and wonderful in every way, and yet part of my brain is not convinced that she’s here. I didn’t even tell the husband this because it sounds completely bonkers, I guess my losses have really screwed with my brain.

It’s crazy to think that if my uterus had been more cooperative and the polyps had not been there, M would have a 3 year old brother or sister now. I’d like to think that things went the way they did because the universe wanted me to have such an awesome daughter, but I also can’t help but wonder what her brother or sister would have been like. A friend of mine told me that feelings like this don’t really go away, but for my Rainbow baby girl’s sake, I’d like them to at least get muted.

Birth Control Madness

Hey ladies!

First a quick update on my Rainbow baby:

So M is one of those amazing babies that seems to really like sleep. She fights nap time, but will usually end up taking two huge post-nursing naps during the day and then crash for the night around 8ish. I love the fact that she usually sleeps about 9-12 hours now, though I still find myself sneaking into her room from time to time to peek in and subtly check her breathing.

M is an insanely fast crawler now at 10 months! She started crawling at six months and is now a super speed racer. She went to six classes of Sign Language class with The Husband, and we try to sign with her as much as we can. She definitely tries to make her needs known, and her big brown eyes are so expressive that it is really just the cutest thing ever. She does sign “milk” and “diaper” now, which is pretty awesome, though I think the “milk” sign is mostly used when she’s generally thirsty and doesn’t always mean she wants the boob (though 95% of the time its true, lol). She thinks the signs for “poop” and “fart” are hilarious, and will burst into giggles when we sign them. She stands on her own for upwards of up to two minutes these days and seems to be stalled at the number three in terms of unassisted steps.

We started her on solids at six months old and she loves food! It’s hilarious because she still only has two teeth, but she uses them to gnash and gnaw the best she can. No allergies as of yet, but she’s not fond of pureed bananas or fava beans. Other than those two random foods, she is pretty game for anything her father and I can put in front of her. We’ve been trying to expose her to a variety of foods so she doesn’t become a picky eater, so we’ll see if that tactic actually works.

So yeah, motherhood with my little Rainbow is fantastic. Exhausting, frustrating and angering sometimes, but always fantastic.

Did I mention that I’m exhausted?

That’s why I decided that we would not be trying for M’s sibling until at least June or July of next year. By then, she’ll be around 18 months old and in a routine of twice a week daycare so I’ll actually be able to coordinate any office visits/surgeries/procedures that might be needed to get the fertility ball rolling again. Sure, I’ll be 35, a fact that everyone always brings up when they inquire about a sibling for her, but my problem has never been egg quality. I’m hoping it won’t take as long as it did for this pregnancy to stick around for the long haul, but even if it does, I think I’m more emotionally prepared for it this time around. For the time being, I started the depo shot for birth control since the Pill was driving me a little crazy and I’m still breastfeeding. It’s been two or so weeks since I started Depo and I feel pretty good. I also really like the Depo shot because if I decide to start ttc earlier than next summer, I can just cancel my office visit and not get the shot.